The last date I saw Beta was 15th of September... Until today it has been 17 days, since I last saw him, touch him, hug him and smell him.... Suddenly I'm being emotional again, and I noticed he has been getting really chatty recently on whatapps... I guess he found someone to entertain him at least...
He did text me few days ago during mooncake festival... Also he shared a song on his facebook "Against all odds", probably trying to send me a message.... I read through the lyrics and it was really touching, unbelievable for a guy like him to send me a message song (Beta is Chinese Ed and he seldom listen to English songs)
He doesn't call me Bibi anymore, now he calls me Jerry zai... Apparently we still haven cut off our contact completely...
About Alpha, he had to put up with all the shits I gave him... I'm staying with him all this time in Puchong, keeping me company, comfort and hugging me to sleep... In order to divert his attention away from me, I introduced him Naruto to keep him occupied... I can't focus on Alpha at all, kept letting him down.... We barely have sex because I don't have mood at all.... Compare to last time, 3 times every week....
I'm trying hard to put my pieces back together.... Taking alcohol and some medicine to ease myself, this also affects Alpha because he knows I'm mentally stressed... Yesterday I sent a text to Beta, Alpha got really frustrated and we had an argument...
I guess its not going that well for me and Alpha also... Seems like October is not going to be a good month for me as well.... I don't want to torment Alpha anymore, what can I do.....
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