Blooming relationship with Beta

After the holidays, we went back to our routine... Alpha enjoyed his holiday and his love for me grew even deeper ever since the incident...

So back to Beta, I forgot to mention the 2 weeks stay over in Beta's house had ended, for the mother already came back from Johor... Me and Beta would still meet each other everyday, for a drink, sex occasionally... We have been together for almost 3 months plus, that's when problem with Beta started kicked in...

First was when he's driving on the road, and I'm leading the way... Along the way I misguided him left/right, then he started arguing with me, at the end of the argument suddenly he scolded me "Ji Pet"..  I was like "Ouch" , immediately I walked out from his car and ignored him.. He apologized to me few days later...

Second argument was about sex.... We hardly had any sex, sometimes 2 weeks and only oral... I'm a guy with high sex drive, so I need sex like all the time (I only see Alpha once a week)... Doing at his place is impossible because the mother is there, and we don't do it in car anymore lol... So usually when he came to my place I will initiate it, but every time he'll complain tired, no mood this and that... In the end, I still didn't get enough sex from him...


Third is when the expectation increased on my part.. Mostly I'm the one who do the travelling, sometimes Beta will meet up with his friends and I'll follow.. And I always have to meet up at his place.. So the more I do that the more I started to complain because his frequency of coming over to my place became lesser and lesser...

The next one is probably the bigger problem... It was the time when Samsung Galaxy Note was coming into Asia market and I was anticipating its arrival (Convincing Alpha to buy for me of course) ... Then there is this convenient app in Android Market called "Talk Box".. One time I was in the car with Beta going back to his place... I literally talked with Alpha throughout the journey regarding this Samsung Galaxy Note.. So Beta kept quiet all the way, until we reached his place, I noticed his face expression changed... I asked him "Is there anything wrong?"   , he said nothing, wished me goodnight then head upstairs... I'll drive home as usual..

Upon reaching, suddenly I received a text from him....

Beta - You and I belong to the different world, I can't match you (你和我是不同世界的人,我不适合你）

Me - What do you mean?  (We often chat in Chinese because Beta's English is not that good)

Beta - I can't buy you the things you wanted, he can provide you everything  (你要的东西我给不到你）

From there, I finally know how strong Beta's ego was... He compared himself with Alpha, knowing the truth that he is nowhere near Alpha....  After a few persuasion, I got things back in shape...


Basically, my relationship with Beta bloomed like that... Argument then patch up, each time we argue, we got closer when we recovered...


Moving on to end of October 2011, after 3 years of studying in Shithole, I can finally celebrate my birthday with my family...

Up next, my 23 years old Birthday....

Alpha's suspicion and trust..

Alpha always felt insecure whenever I hang out with my boys, especially when I showed him pictures of them... Some of them were really cute and handsome, so often he warned me not to do anything to them, especially hanky panky or molesting...

My alcohol intake gradually decreased, due to the amount of time I spent with Beta and Alpha, my distance with the boys grew apart.... There was a public holiday in August which is Malaysia's Independence Day, Alpha suggested to go Melaka for a 3 days 2 nights trip, and I agreed, at the same time knowing that I won't be able to meet Beta...

Throughout the weekend whenever I'm with Alpha, I will secretly text Beta or called him to ask what is he doing, and asked if is he missing me or not....  Until the Melaka trip finally arrived, it will be our longest time apart, 3 days not seeing each other... Well, I met up with Beta nearly everyday, even just for a drink, or sometimes he would come over my place...

Even after 1 year plus together, Alpha never entered my house before. Whenever he came and pick me up, he'll always wait at the road junction and I'll walk out to his car.. Somehow I do not want people to know that I'm hanging out with him, because I'm afraid that people would ask a lot of questions due to his age and status...

So we went to Melaka and stayed in a 4 star hotel near Hatten Square (Fenix Inn)... First day itself when we arrived I got text Beta but clever enough I deleted all my text and call logs with him... Besides texting Beta, I also flirt with other boys, saying stuffs like "Do you want to come over my place tonight? I'm lonely.."  ...

The text messages kept coming in and Alpha got annoyed, because we were suppose to spend some quality time together and I kept getting distracted by my phone... Curiously Alpha took my phone and read my messages while I was in the shower, when I came out I sensed intense jealousy and the look on Alpha's face changed dramatically...  I thought shit, Beta texted me and he saw it....  Later then he showed me my conversation with the boy that I flirt with... He was extremely unhappy and disturbed by those messages...

I told him we had nothing and didn't even meet before, so I simply ignored Alpha... Alpha took it very seriously and moments later, I saw him packing... I asked , "what are you doing??"    He said : " You know what? Let's call off this trip .."

I was like WTF?? We just arrived in Melaka and you want to go back just because of one text message which you can't even differentiate between flirting and getting serious??   I was mad also, the furious look in Alpha's eye totally freaked me out, I also packed my stuffs, thinking that "Go back ma go back lo"...

He continued saying while I'm packing " You have anything to say to me? Because once we get back to KL, that's it for both of us, we won't see each other again! "

I dropped my bag, sat on the bed beside him... Somehow I gave in, I hugged him and cried.... I don't understand my tears.. May be I was afraid to lose him, or may be I'm just scared because he was fierce... Alpha melted, hugging and comforting me not to cry, my tears wiped away our misunderstanding and somehow because I cried, I earned Alpha's trust in everything.... Which in a way I was relieved because Beta was the real guy behind all the scenes....

The Melaka trip went well, we were both happy and totally back to normal... Then again, I wasn't completely "happy", deep down I felt rage... I saw the other side of Alpha which I never could have imagined , I disliked it, I hated it...  A wall grew between me and Alpha ever since, a wall that he never realized its existence...

Alpha's Birthday and lover titles

Middle of July I started going to Beta's house to sleep over for 2 weeks... I stayed there 6 days a week, except for Saturday which I would normally stay with Alpha for one night.. The next morning he would go to work again since he is working 7 days a week, Sunday 10am - 2 pm...

During my stay with Beta, my overwhelming love for him made me do crazy stuffs... Like buying dessert for him to eat, spending quality time with him, last but not least I can't help myself but to give him a lover's title...  A title name "Bii"    ... On the other hand, I'm just calling Alpha "Doctor" , not really a lover's title, more like a formal name and Alpha always complain to me saying that "Can you call me Dear instead of Doctor?"...

So Alpha's birthday is coming up, few weeks before that when we went shopping he would stopped by some fancy watch shop like City Chain to look at those branded watches... Since he is so rich, buying them is a piece of cake... I scratch my head while asking him...

Me : Erm Doctor, your birthday is coming up leh, I duno what to get for you really, all things you want I cannot afford...

Alpha : Aiya, anything you buy for me I'll be happy... you save up some money and buy me this watch will do lo (while pointing at the Tissot watch worth RM 1500) ..

Me : I rolled my eyes and nodded...


Rm 1500 isn't much of a problem to me, Alpha gave me Rm 200 a week, that makes it Rm 800 a month... During my study times in Shithole I used up all the money, but ever since I started working I stopped using them and put it all in the bank... So by the time his birthday arrived, I already collected about few thousand.. More than enough to buy a watch for him...

The day before his birthday, I went to the shop and bought the watch for him, drive all the way to Klang and gave him the watch... On top of that I called him "Dear, Happy Birthday, I love you" ...

He gave me a big hug, and we spend the night together.... Next morning, I drove back to Cheras and everything back to normal, stage cleared....

Moving into August 2011....

Me and Beta just maintained our underground relationship as usual. Me and Alpha always had smooth conversation...

Until one day, when Alpha decided to go on a Melaka trip during National Day, Alpha started to suspect something, when I was bathing, he browsed through my phone....

Alpha discovered something and he got extremely pissed.....

To be continued...

Beta's past and his buddies

Sometimes when I got too happy, I drank too much alcohol and got myself wasted... Being unable to drive, I would give Beta a call to come and pick me up... The way he cared and treated me when I'm drunk was like no other, I couldn't understand why there's such a huge difference between Alpha and Beta... 

After staying there for a few nights, we shared our personal stories and experiences in gay life... I don't have a lot to share since I'm so new in this circle back then, only had a couple of puppy love... Beta on the other hand, has known himself since the age of 16, long long time ago.... Unfortunately, he only had 1 real relationship before, which lasted for 8 years....  He dated that guy since 19, all the way till the age of 27, finally his lover suggested broke up..... 

In the midst of recovering, he had a few guys coming into the picture, but none was comparable to his first lover... It literally took him 4 years to grieve and recover slowly, and finally I came into the picture... That broke up really gave him a huge impact, he'd gone through hell and he gave me a statement "PLU cannot be trusted" ..  I can fell his sorrow, his pain and his tears.... Since then I made up my mind, that I will give Beta with everything I have, to recover and save him from the loop hole, letting him know that gays can be trusted, and not all gays are cruel...

He didn't go through all that alone of course, he had a few close buddies to support him on and off... All his buddies were all gays, once in a while he would bring me out to yam cha with them.... That's the first time I blend in with social gay groups, apart from those gay gym groups  (those that always go gym)... They were friendly and nice, but not the kind of group I would choose to mix with simply because I don't like it...  But they were Beta's close friend, so I had to social with them, well as long as I'm with Beta nothing else matters....

Throughout the years, Beta would go travel twice a year, go saunas, grindr and etc to know more gay guys.. I always try to understand why it took him so long to forget about his lover yet he seemed to enjoy his life so much with his buddies...  I was confused but just put that thought aside and continue treating him good....

During the weekdays I will stay in Beta's house, but Saturdays I had to stay with Alpha either in some hotel or in his place Klang... 

July 29th, Alpha's birthday is coming up the next day, and its a Saturday... That marked my first anniversary with Alpha, its also the same time I started officially with Beta...

Next : How I adopted cheating skill

Away from home, for 2 weeks

My apology for not introducing Beta in a more detailed manner... Besides knowing  he is from Grindr, Beta is also in his early 30s, which is acceptable for me... Drove an Avanza, using an I phone 4, with a decent look and work as a merchandiser cum designer (I always laugh at this CUM word when he told me about it, felt ridiculous to consider it a job title)... Finally, Beta is also a top, versatile top....

After knowing Alpha and Beta, I started to go through what were my types of guy that I prefer... After some serious consideration, only I realized that, I loved guys older than me who is chubby, medium bear bear look... Those boy boy whom I used to adore and took them as my brother, I think often confused them as brother/lover and always crossed the line...

Continue with my story, so a week after Beta's brother passed away, he invited me to stay over his place, claiming that his mother will be away for 2 weeks... I'm extremely excited and can't wait to go there, at the same time feeling shy because I barely know him.... But he's my crush, so the fuck I care, I don't even mind if he wanted to rape me... Just kidding...

Coincidentally it was weekday, so after work, I went over his place to find him... He was staying in Cheras flat, for 30 years... The apartment has only 1 room, where he had to sleep with his mother...  Since the mother is not there, I slept there for 2 whopping whole weeks... Sometimes I'll go there after my drinking section with my boys, sometimes he would come and pick me up from my house... The next day fetch me home before going to work...

Everytime before I go over his place, I would buy some desserts for him to eat... After eating, we sat down watch TV and I'd just hug him the whole time... It was lovely, memorable and touching, thinking back what I've done.... Despite the fact that Beta knows I already have Alpha, I really didn't know what he was thinking when he decided to ask me to stay over... When I'm staying with Beta, I still text Alpha along the way, sometimes called just to pretend normal.... I also had to lied to my mom all the time by saying "I go friend's house to sleep after drinking, don't worry about me, I'll be home the next morning!! *Hangs up the phone*"

We don't have sex that frequent, may be twice every week, and that twice is only oral, barely anal... In my mind I thought he was a guy with low sex drive, well it didn't matter much because love is in the air at that moment.... My lifestyle changed ever since, I reduced my drinking rate with my boys, I stopped gaming, I stopped blogging (JerryKiat), last but not least, I slept much earlier than usual (Before 12 am) compare to 1-2am when I'm at home....

Besides TV, Beta only has a laptop, so we spend most of our time chatting, sharing our personal stuffs and hang out... During the 2 weeks stay over, Beta brought me out to yam cha with his friends a few times...


This is how I get to know Beta's past and his friends   (95% if his friends are gays).....

Coming up next....

Making out in public

Me and Beta met up for the third time, that strong affection for each other started pouring out... There seemed to be a problem because, I'm staying with my family... Beta also stayed with his mother which is not so convenient for both of us... Hotel didn't become an option, figure out it is not wise to go to hotel just to make out, he wasn't rich like Alpha, so it didn't really matter...

I brought Beta to some place near my house, secluded and nobody around... He drove me there and we stopped at a shady area, and we starting kissing, touching each other everywhere... 

It was my first time making out in public, the place wasn't completely dark, it has street lights and I was extremely nervous... We took off our pants and only had oral sex, it didn't go too well because I took a long time to cum (Pressure due to can't believe I'm making out with my crush), he then jerk himself off ..

After the session, we get out from the place and he send me home...  Ever since that incident, we stopped talking for a while, day after day our conversation got much lesser than before... I got worried and thought it must be something that I had screwed up...

Just when I was about to go and look for him, suddenly Beta messaged me saying "Sorry, my elder brother passed away"... Immediately I had that sense of relieved at the same time feeling terribly sad for him... I can only express my concern towards him, to cheer him up, also saying I'll be there if he needs me... It was the second week of July 2011...

 I really wished I could do something for Beta at the time, feeling helpless and worried for him... I can't go over his place to find him because he restricted me to do so, he stayed with his mother and the mother doesn't know he is gay...

Few days later, Beta gave me a surprise... He called me and say "My mom will not be around for 2 weeks, do you want to come over my place and stay?"

I was like oh my god...........

To be continued...

PS: So this is a picture of me and Alpha, taken few months ago. Sorry I can't show his face, neither Beta....

How I met lover B, Beta

I remembered very clearly, that time was middle of June. I started having all those thoughts coming in, where I needed a companion beside me... Distance with Alpha (Cheras/Klang) was already a problem, Alpha is not willing to cut off his clinic hours.. Done considering, moments of hesitation were gone, I decided to start looking around, behind Alpha's back....

Manjam, Axcest, Fridae were all too conventional, the fact that I don't dare to go sauna alone, so I decided to go with Grindr since I have a smartphone Galaxy s2...  I even showed Alpha how cool the app was where you can detect all gay people around you and chat with each other... Alpha got excited at first but got bored after a week or two, he uninstalled it... Luckily Alpha doesn't restrict me from entering Grindr, only advised me not to meet with other guys outside...

There were a few handsome guys I talked to, one of them really caught my attention and I had a crush on him just by looking at his picture... Wearing specs, chubby, sexy eyes, and we chat occasionally in Grindr..  His reply were really slow and I literally waited in Grindr most of the time for his reply... Even though I'm impatient, I controlled myself until one day he decided to ask me out for a drink (I was like OMG is this for real)....

He is staying around Permaisuri area, not quite far from my place.. So he came and pick me up in front of Pantai Cheras Hospital and we went to a chinese food court for a drink...  Seriously, I left a very bad first impression for him at our first meet up... I told him I already have a lover, I tried to order beer due to my addiction because of my friend's influence, that time I was drinking everyday for 3 months already... In addition, I smoke in front of him, plus sitting on the chair with one leg lifted up like Ah Beng from Petaling Streets... Fortunately, he also smokes and he didn't mind about my behaviours at all...

He wasn't wearing specs, the picture in Grindr was his selling point.. Means I got trolled, but anyway he still looked very cute without rimless-glasses.... I thought I screwed up my first meet up, who knows few days later, he asked me out again, somehow I can sense that he has a little bit of interest in me because he initiated to ask me out... I decided to explore further with him and Yes, he is my Lover B...

After a few meet up, we cannot control ourselves anymore, we decided to have Sex........

To be continued