Breaking up with Alpha

After my Genting trip with Alpha, things weren't going so well between me and Beta any longer....  He knew this path wasn't the right path to choose since the very beginning, but he failed to realize that its too late for him to withdraw then because I love him too much till I can't let him go...

I had a fine talk with Beta, reassuring him that I will break up with Alpha one day in December...  Well, deep down he was happy, anticipating but he didn't want to voice it out, because it'll make him look like the culprit (third party)...

All the while Beta's stand was :

1) Money can't buy love
2) I'm with Alpha solely because of money....
3) Even without money, me and him can live happily...

I took all of them into consideration, and figure a way out to break up with Alpha... Which was to treat him cold, reluctant to have sex with him, kept making excuses, let Alpha notice the change in me, then suggest the break up... (I can't figure out a better idea than this, not that I don't love Alpha anymore, but I had to make a choice)

The ignorance lasted for about 2 weeks, until December 11th (Saturday) we stayed in SS2 hotel, when we were having sex, I complained that his genitals were smelly, and I didn't hug him at all when we were sleeping... That bothered him for a while...

2 days later, Alpha finally decided to break the ice and asked me about my sudden change in behaviour...

Alpha - Baby, I see you have been treating me kinda cold lately, is something bothering you?
Me - You know, I think the feeling is not there already...
Alpha - What do you mean? Means you don't love me anymore?
Me - Yeah, I didn't know how to say this to you, but I don't love you anymore...
Alpha - So you want to break up with me?
Me - I'm sorry but, yes.
Alpha - Can I just ask why?
Me - I don't know, I can always talk to you, but I cannot be with you....
Alpha - Ok, very well then... Then I wish you all the best...
Me - Can I give you back all your money in the bank? I can't keep your money...
Alpha - Don't worry about the money, its yours, take and use it wisely...  I'll always love you and if you ever need anything in the future, just give me a call and I will try to help...
Me - Ok... Sorry and take care....

This conversation gave Alpha a huge surprise because a day before he thought everything was still normal.... He called and talked to me for a while just to make sure he was not dreaming... After I confirmed my decision, I felt extremely stressed...

Suddenly I felt so lost that I didn't know what to do anymore... Literally chaining my cigarette all the way outside my office...

I was holding my phone and at that moment, I really needed someone to talk to....  Not Beta, dunno why I just don't want him to know I broke up with Alpha...

So one person came up to my mind, that person is my Mom....


Next : How I came out to my mom.....