Moving on...

I suffered... For the past 2 weeks, I've been acting rather unusual... I have used roulette to let off my steam, resulting in losing quite a bit of money... I took 1 to 2 relaxation pill a day to make myself relax, drink at least 2 cans of beer a day, I can't focus on my job..  Basically I think I lost my will to live for that few days, my body and my soul were in 2 different places, and I'm always distracted... 

Today while I was going to work, I literally cried for fifteen minutes in the car, my first teardrops since we separated...  In my office, I can't control myself but to give Beta a call....

He answered, but we didn't talk for long.... I'm glad I called him, because I can feel that he is ready to move on, of course at a much faster pace than I do... He's simply amazing, AMAZING....

Nevermind about that, during my conversation today with him, 3 things he said (Indirectly) gave me an absolute answer that he's ready for the next guy who comes into the picture....

In a way, the 3 reasons he said actually releases my tension quite a bit...  I'm not gonna reveal what he said to me, let's just say, I think I will be able to move on, slowly but surely... 

What's next to anticipate in my life is my graduation, my birthday, my job confirmation (second job), my first Bangkok trip with Alpha next month, follow by a first Japan trip with Alpha also next year...

If you have followed my blog since the beginning, indeed Alpha is a good guy... He has been around me throughout my tough times... My final year project, my first job, my breakup with Beta, my losing moments in gambling, stress tides in my second job and the list goes on... 

Timing is everything, and the willingness to help with sincerity is all that matters (Money can't buy sincerity)... Today I can tell you Yes money is important in a relationship. But you can't throw money at someone to exchange for love, because the other guy will not find happiness.. You can live together with a poor man, yet so happy with each other around... Its the effort that matters, the one who understands you, who knows you...  Everything should be in a package, that's why I chose Alpha...

Now, except for phone contact and some remaining pictures of Beta, I only keep them for my future reference (I purposely took it from Beta, thought that I will continue my 3 person relationship story, but I gave up writing it)... Very soon he'll find himself another lover, I can only wish him all the best....

I had a bad experience this time, just like playing roulette... I hated and loved Beta, today it marked our 15 months time knowing each other...  Time flies....

And today, I finally understand why some people love each other but never meant to be together... 

那些年，我们一起追的女孩。。